Archive for March, 2008

oh god i still miss him

Saturday, March 29th, 2008

dear gentle reader,

as what you can read from the title above and surely, in this post, im sure that you can guess what im going to tell you guys. yes, shoot me and kill me please, that im still merindui him and gosh, how i wish i can end this feeling. i know, it’s all over, and i have to go on with my life, my new life, but my feeling is still living in the past. my mind is always thinking about him, and rite now, while other people are laughing to the utmost, im crying and bleeding in pain. i miss him, miss him miss him but i know, i will not be with him. when can i get over it??

last nite, i did call him. it’s a stupid thing that i always do, but i can’t resist myself for not doing that. i miss him, that’s why i text him n called him. but now, i know, he hates me, for contacting him. it seems that he’s already forget me, which to me it has to be done, cause he’s getting married this may..but what about me?

i miss him, more n more each day. i want to move on, but i can’t. i know my frens will be disappointed and for that i am so sorry..

every day and every night, i miss him, so dearly and so much…

Tuhanku, please help me to vanish this feeling..

simple poem: regret :(

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

the reason for this goodbye
is because someone who never ever been there
to just leave and break with you
is such a stupid thing that i do
i never proud to admit that i am such a fool
and be so selfish at the same time too
oh my, now you’re gone
to be in someone else’s arms
and leave me alone, for no one to calm

am i regret this separation happen?
oh yes, i do
am i want all this to happen?
oh no, it’s not that i like to do
but after all, i must say that i love you..
more and more each day till i can forget you..
i wonder when i’ve the courage to leave you

and now i am here all by myself
sitting alone, restless and hopeless
with your picture appears more frequently in my mind
how i wish i can turn back time
but if it happen, i know it’s a crime

to you my love, i wish your happiness
may you’ll find your true love and comfortness
im sorry that i can’t fulfill my promise
just because, i have someone else
that appears to never been there for me..

im sorry, im sorry, im sorry..
it’s all come back to me now
for me to pay the price
coz hurting you, it cost me much..

~it’s my first attempt to write a simple poem based on my lately experience.apologize for any grammatical error occurs in this poem.

well, basically, this poem is about my feeling and emotion right now, and how i regret everything that i’ve done to him. im sorry, im sorry im sorry. that’s the word that in return hurts me back..
thus my love towards him is getting stronger day by day. but i realize, it’s only me who love him.and now he’s getting married, i must forget him, but till this time, it’s so painful and hard me to do.

the reason behind the lost ???

Sunday, March 9th, 2008

Abdullah perlu pikul tanggungjawab kekalahan - Dr. Mahathir

KUALA LUMPUR 9 Mac - Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad hari ini berkata bahawa
penggantinya Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi perlu memikul
tanggungjawab sepenuhnya bagi kekalahan teruk yang dialami Barisan
Nasional (BN) dalam pilihan raya umum semalam.

"Beliau patut memikul tanggungjawab dalam soal ini, seperti
kemenangan besar-besaran pada 2004 yang dilaporkan disebabkan oleh
kewibawaan beliau, 100 peratus, dan itulah yang dikatakan oleh
Setiausaha Agung UMNO pada ketika itu.

"Tetapi sekarang beliau juga patut memikul tanggungjawab itu 100 peratus.

Beliau telah memusnahkan UMNO, beliau telah memusnahkan BN, dan
beliau patut bertanggungjawab bagi kekalahan teruk ini," katanya pada
sidang akhbar yang diadakan beberapa jam selepas keputusan pilihan raya
diumumkan, di sini.

Dr. Mahathir berkata, amat mengejutkan bahawa BN tumbang di lima
negeri dan Wilayah Persekutuan menerusi isyarat serupa yang ditunjukkan
oleh semua tiga kaum utama - Melayu, Cina dan India.

"Saya fikir orang Jepun akan melakukan harakiri. Tetapi saya rasa
orang Melayu tidak sampai ke tahap itu lagi. Saya fikir beliau patut
menimbangkan untuk mengundurkan diri," katanya sambil menambah beliau
juga akan mengambil tindakan yang sama jika beliau berada dalam situasi
seperti Abdullah.

Kepada soalan sama ada BN telah tersilap perkiraan dengan mengadakan
pilihan raya umum lebih awal, Dr. Mahathir berkata beliau tidak yakin
bahawa dengan menangguhkannya setahun lagi akan membawa sebarang
perbezaan daripada segi keputusannya, kerana rasa tidak puas hati
rakyat terhadap pentadbiran Abdullah sudah tidak dapat dibendung lagi.

"Empat tahun selepas pilihan raya umum lepas, beliau telah melakukan
banyak perkara yang salah tetapi mereka ini (media) terus melaporkan
betapa rakyat menyayanginya," kata bekas Perdana Menteri itu.

Pelbagai isu yang membawa kepada rasa tidak puas hati terhadap
kerajaan termasuk persepsi bahawa di sebalik angka pertumbuhan ekonomi
yang tinggi diumumkan oleh kerajaan serta pelancaran wilayah-wilayah
pembangunan, rakyat di peringkat akar umbi tidak berasa apa-apa
(faedahnya).

"Mereka mendapati bahawa kerajaan ini ditadbir oleh sebuah keluarga
bagi kepentingan keluarga itu. Selagi wujud keadaan lebih mengutamakan
keluarga daripada Kabinet, kerajaan sendiri, saya fikir rakyat akan
mahu menentang mereka," katanya.

Kepada soalan lain, Dr. Mahathir berkata, bagaimanapun terserah
kepada UMNO untuk memutuskan mengenai pengganti Abdullah sekiranya
beliau meletakkan jawatan, atau mungkin Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak
boleh mengambil alih.

"Datuk Seri Najib telah meraih kemenangan mengagumkan, lebih baik
daripada keputusan pada 2004 yang merupakan tahun terbaik bagi BN.
Majoriti yang diperoleh beliau meningkat manakala kemerosotan undi
Abdullah agak ketara," katanya.

Dr. Mahathir berkata sebuah kerajaan yang dibentuk dengan majoriti
mudah adalah sebuah kerajaan yang lemah terutama dalam sebuah negara
berbilang kaum yang antara lain boleh menyebabkan ketidakstabilan, dan
kemudiannya menjejaskan keyakinan pelabur.

Beliau, bagaimanapun, berkata masih ada harapan bagi BN untuk
memperbetulkan keadaan itu dengan syarat mereka mesti memberi perhatian
terhadap isyarat yang diberikan oleh rakyat.

Kepada satu lagi soalan, Dr. Mahathir berkata beliau percaya ia
pastinya sukar bagi Abdullah untuk mengundurkan diri secara sukarela
kerana, sehingga kini, Abdullah masih tidak cuba memahami kerumitan
daripada kekalahan itu dan sebaliknya menyalahkan orang ramai bagi
kekalahan itu.

Melahirkan rasa sedih beliau dengan kekalahan itu, bekas Perdana
Menteri berkata, beliau tidak menjangka yang BN akan kalah seteruk itu.

Mengenai kebangkitan semula Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim dalam pilihan
raya ini, Dr. Mahathir berkata beliau percaya bahawa Anwar masih
"relevan" tetapi beliau sama sekali tidak akan menjadi Perdana Menteri
negara ini.

Ditanya mengenai kemungkinan pembangkang memenuhi janji mereka
seperti yang dinyatakan dalam manifesto mereka, kata Dr. Mahathir:
"Mereka hanya membuat janji itu kerana mereka tidak fikir yang mereka
akan membentuk kerajaan tetapi saya sangsi yang mereka dapat menunaikan
janji apabila mereka menawan lima negeri."

Dr. Mahathir berkata, beliau akan terus memainkan peranan sebagai
seorang warganegara dengan menyuarakan dan berkongsi pendapatnya jika
perlu.

"Saya tidak mahu sebarang gelaran rasmi, menteri kanan atau
penasihat tetapi jika mereka datang kepada saya dan meminta nasihat
saya, saya bersedia untuk berkongsinya demi faedah negara," katanya.

Mengenai kemenangan anaknya Datuk Mukhriz di kawasan Parlimen
Jerlun, beliau berkata ia cuma kejayaan biasa, meskipun dengan majoriti
lebih besar.

a day at school, to be precised East Brisbane State Primary School

Thursday, March 6th, 2008

dear gentle reader,

hey all..well i feel like writing tonite…

for this one subject, Field Trip Research, i have been sent to this
school. The journey took about 10 mins or so, coz it’s located in
Wollogabba, precisely besides Gabba Stadium (not Suncorp Stadium, ok?).
Coz it’s our (Maya, Ida and i ) first day at school, we decided to get
off early- 7.10am from Unilodge straight to Queen Street Mall Bus
station. to take the bus, we need to wait @ A3 station which took us a
tour just to get there. not because we’re lost, but the station is a
bit far from the main entrance. so, extra walking for us :)

we took route 214 bus which passed 4 stations before arriving that place. The bus stations included Culture Center, Southbank, Mater and Woolongabba. Luckily for us, the bus driver sent us straight to the school, cause if he dropped us at the Woolongabba, then we got to do extra-extra walking, which we were not really fond to do it since we’re already did it earlier. we met sal at the entrance and waiting for badak n ewan to arrive. we were ahead from the schedule-arrived at 7.45, the school starts at 8.45, so we got an hour to go. ida n sal wanted to hv brekkie, so we walked (again) to the nearest 7E.

*since badak n ewan lived nearby, so we knew that they will arrive just in time.

at 7E, i didn’t do any buying coz i had stomach ache. although i felt a bit hungry, i didn’t want to take the risk. we went back to the school and the principal greet us and welcomed us to the school. and so, we waited at the staff room and the two guys had safely arrived. to kill the time, we did some flipping of the books at the staff room. we had some interest on some books that we even thought to ’steal’ them. but, hurm, not now..hehehehee

around 9, we had been introduced to the 6 children from that school. i think they were from year 4 or 5. Danielle, from year 5 took me a ‘tour’ to the little school compund before she showed me to the prep/yr 1 classroom. when i said little school compound, i really mean it. but as people say, size doesn’t matter. the school had enough facilities for all students-they even have a swimming pool. how cool is that.

finally, i arrived at prep classroom. my first impression- they were all tiny and cute!!!!!..innocent and naughty..sneaky? yes, definitely!!..the class teacher introduced me to the classroom. Mandy was indeed a nice lady, but the class was a bit in hangwired-disorganized, i must say that. but im more interested on the children. so forget abt the classroom. yes, to say my name is a bit hard for them and also for Mandy, but i kept my name short and from now on, i’ll be using ‘NURUL’ instead of my lengthy name.

i met new children-Jodie (she says that ‘i like you’ to me-i just met her!!), Alex (brilliant girl), Jett (naughty boy), Zed (a bit quiet, Zana (OMG, he’s so cute), Alice (French girl who speaks little English), Alicia (love her), Valeria (Brazilian girl), Liam (he really helps me-very friendly boy), Crystal (teaches me this one game), Asma (african girl), Jessica ( a good friend of Alex), Eliza (Korean girl-so cute and adorable!!), Jay Dean (extremely naughty), Angus (he’s a bit slower and always hold a miniature of dragon in his hand) and others that i didn’t manage to get their names. but i still got another 5 more sessions to go.

throughout the day, i love the swimming session the most!!..it felt like i was watching my own children learn on how to swim. with my kebaya attire, they asked me to join them in the pool. of coz i won’t go there. but i will-i think- if i bring my swimming attire along with me (wah, ade ke??) hehehehe…

besides that i also did some reading session-with year 1 children and writing and drawing with prep kiddies..love that moment!!!
the children loved to touch my kebaya. they said it was so soft (my dearie children, it was chinese silk) and they tended to lift up my kain..opsie..not there..but yeah, they loved it. it’s good to expose to new culture-i bet.

anyhow, i already missed them!!!..but my next session is in next 2 weeks..wah rindunye..

(bler nk dpt anak sendiri ni?aihhh)..

okla…dats all. yeap, im having a wonderful time there and can’t wait to 20th March..looking forward to it..

 


muah2x..x sbr nk jd cekgu..hehehehe

tata…

a tiring weekend..

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

hye peeps..

even tho im so tired..really tired..i still want to update something in my blog..my eyes are rolling rite now, wanted to be closed.but wait eyes, wait till i finish my business here..

so, this weekend was so exhausting and tiring..no other words can describe the enourmous feeling of tiredness.. im so freaking penat n mengantuk plus etc..

first hang out with my buddies. im having the best time, no matter what time it is..
second hang out with the coolest juniors..acan, zaim n ka to Gold Coast..been there..like so many times (really?) but still enjoiying myself there..
third..the BBQ and releasing of my position in this one club..thank God..

so where is the part of tiring?well, since my eyes say it’s time to stop, so, i will stop here n probably continue this later on..

tata

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away…

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out

I thought I had all the answers never giving in
But baby since youve gone I admit that I was wrong

All I know is Im lost without you Im not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say well never be together and we ended with goodbye dont know what Id do …im
Lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is Im lost without you
I keep trying to face the day Im lost without you

How my ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby Im so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
Youre the only thing thats on my mind

Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right no Im not too proud to say

All I know is Im lost without you Im not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say well never be together and we ended with goodbye dont know what Id do …im
Lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is Im lost without you
I keep trying to face the day Im lost without you

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away
Cant stop the tears from running down my face
Oh

All I know is Im lost without you Im not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say well never be together and we ended with goodbye dont know what Id do …im
Lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is Im lost without you
I keep trying to face the day Im lost without you

**i miss you..